For When You Put Yourself Out There
TL;DR version: Stop being so hard on yourself. You're not that bad and it's not worth it. Really.
It has become abundantly clear in the first 24 hours of launching my podcast that I will not last very long if I continue to:
- Anticipate every possible future scenario
- Be this hard on myself
Putting yourself out there is risky business. You're susceptible to criticism. To rejection. Or (even worse): crickets. The only thing scarier than not being liked is not being seen.
And if I'm going to make it in this town, it's going to take some serious compassion and (throwing up in my mouth a bit) self-love. It's going to take me being the first in line to pat myself on the back when a day doesn't pan out the way I'd hoped, or an episode is poorly received. I need to be aggressive and relentless in my ability to know when I need a bath, or a Netflix binge or an early wine delivery. I need to be my biggest champion as well as my biggest competitor and critic, because when the other ones come out (and they will, I hope! Because that'll be reassurance I'm up to something bigger than myself), I'll know how to hold my own hand and take it without letting it take me out.
So I'll do whatever it takes. I'll meditate. I'll look at my bank account. I'll fucking floss. I'll do anything, because having a sense of purpose is (finally) more important than being universally liked and accepted.
I have to do that first, anyway.