Ep 14: For When You Need To Forgive
In this episode, I talk with my one of my best friends—I don’t use her name just to protect some people in the story. She shares about the anger she felt and what it took to overcome one of her biggest betrayals—when she found out her Dad had been cheating on her Mom. With another man.
At first, I thought this topic was too specific. That people would see it and be like, "Pssh, I don't have anyone to forgive."
BUT GUESS WHAT! I was wrong. This is a big one, guys. And there's a lot we could say on this topic.
When we need to give it, when we need to ask for it, when we need to give and ask for it for ourselves--for starters.
But, what seems most apparent to me now—after having making this episode—is that when I feel wronged, what’s actually making me feel angry is what I’ve decided it must mean about me in order for someone to wrong me in the first place. But when I look at what happened objectively—without the drama—and when I put myself in that other person’s shoes—no matter how fucking hard that is—I’m almost instantly less angry. And forgiveness isn’t that much farther away.
Besides—I think the person I’m really angry at is ME for drawing that conclusion in the first place.
Some betrayals and actions are easier to forgive than my friend’s—some are way harder.
I don’t know what it’s like to forgive someone who abused you—or if that’s even possible. Or yourself if you’ve done irreversible damage. But I’d like to think that it’s never too late to try. Because what’s the alternative?
Guilt or regret or prolonged resentment?
Nah, I’m good.
So, go forgive yourself. For your misses, for your shortcomings. Forgive your people for theirs. Right away, if you can. It just feels better.
Here's a good place to start: