Ep 18: For When You're Never The Same
Listen through the links below or wherever you listen to stuff!
Do you ever feel like you have past lives?
I don't meant that you lived in the 1840s and now you're living here. But, good for you if you did!
I mean do you ever look at back certain eras in your life and feel like you're looking at a stranger? I look back at when I was in my 20s and struggling with disordered eating, or when I was consumed with an ex who broke my heart, or when I changed careers and there I am. I see myself. I remember what it was like. But it's also like I don't even recognize me. I remember that time, but I am so completely different now. It even blows my mind that that's what my life was like once. When was that? How'd I get here? It feels like a dream.
It's like the two worlds run parallel to each other. The Old Me exists, but I see the world and myself differently now, and I don't know how or when that happened. But I'm not the same anymore.
But when I was "in it," it seemed like I would never get out.
I can only imagine, then, what it's like when you become a parent for the first time.
My brother and sister-in-law are about to have their first baby. (At the time of writing this, he's three days late. Thanks for waiting until Podcast Day, nugget!). I have my own array of emotions watching my brother become a Dad for the first time--and, of course, I'm thinking about the day I may have kids, too. I realized that I'm going to Old Me to give New Me, a message. Something to turn to for when I'm overtired, over-scared, overjoyed and overwhelmed. A message from someone who's been there to tell me "You're going to be okay. You won't have pee on you forever."
Which is what my guests/friends this week did.
John & Bridget are a year and a half into parenting and guess what: They've learned a lot. They share about trouble getting pregnant, stuff they didn't know about pregnancy, emotional changes, labor taboos and what happens when you return home, from breastfeeding to gender roles to paranoia to how their relationship changed to how--seemingly overnight--they're completely different (but also, still the same).
Even though this is sort of a time capsule for myself for when I'm in the thick of it, as a non-parent, I got so much out of what they had to say. Because I am overwhelmed, in the unknown and scared a lot. And I want parenting-level resilience when it comes to the ebbs and flows of life.
And if you're a new parent, let me just say, you fucking rock.
Here's a link to the blog Bridget mentions at the end of the episode.